Being Sober Is So Passé
by sdjkhgdjksfnksdf
Summary: There's many types of drunk people, and the rarest of them all are the Sokka Drunks. Jinora is a Sokka Drunk. Bolin wants to cry because Mako is no help at all. / / Age Difference!Verse


**Oops.**

**I blame Tracy.**

**It's all Tracy's fault.**

**I figured I torture Bolin enough by revealing to the world that—Agni—the cheerful Earthbender has ~serious~ and ~thoughtful~ thoughts about his *~girlfriend~*.**

**So Jinora's the victim this time.**

* * *

Bolin wants to slam his head against a wall because, _Agni, this cannot be happening. _Tenzin is going to kill him. Korra is going to kill him. Meelo is going to kill him. Mako might kill him. Ikki's going to laugh and make Jinora say things. He's just thankful that they're not out in public, but in the privacy of his apartment (now that Mako has left in favor of an actual house on the island).

After drinking a cup of the extremely strong Cactus Juice that Bolin likes to drink while reading, Jinora is drunk.

If it was under any other circumstance, Bolin would find this hilarious. Who would guess that his adorable, straight-laced girlfriend is a—what was the term again—Sokka drunk?

It's not even his fault, he wants to yell. He didn't _know_ that Jinora was going to visit. He didn't _know_ that he'd leave for a moment to feed Pabu and that she'd take a sip of the Cactus Juice thinking it was water!

But here she is, laughing like a maniac and doing arabesques.

He's trying to get her to calm down, but it's not working. In the last ten minutes, she's hissed at Pabu, tripped over the rug three times, and told him that he's like Lin Bei Fong, but a guy and way younger. He doesn't know whether to take that last part as a compliment or not. Chief Bei Fong is scary, but she's also one of the best Earth and Metalbenders in the world.

Now, Jinora's turning around in circles downing, exclaiming, "Whoa! The room is spinning, Bobo!"

She's nineteen and she's drunk and it's not his fault but it's not her fault because she didn't know but it's someone's fault and Bolin doesn't even know whose fault it is. He's just going to blame Korra's Sifu Katara's deceased brother right now because he discovered the drink in the first place.

"It's the best water ever!" Jinora's squealing. "It's so quenchy! I'm not thirsty anymore! Drink Quenchy Water! Nothing's quite as quency as Quenchy Water!"

Bolin wants to cry.

* * *

Mako's laughing.

Great.

Bolin sends a messenger hawk to his brother asking him to help and Mako is _laughing._

He rarely laughs except when it's Korra, but he's laughing now because of Jinora. Sokka drunks are rare. Most people are angry, sad, happy, flirty, strange, or creepy when they're drunk. Sokka drunk is the rare drunk that fits all criteria. Whenever Mako and Bolin see one in Republic City, they just stop whatever they're doing and watch them until the rush from the Cactus Juice expires. It's just _great _that they found one, and it's Jinora.

_Just _great.

Well, thinking about it, it does sort of make sense that she'd be one. Sokka is her great-uncle; maybe it's hereditary?

For a moment, Bolin is lost in thought as he thinks about Tenzin as a Sokka drunk. It would be pretty funny, but then thinking about Tenzin brings him back to the fact that Tenzin has two daughters, one of them is his girlfriend, and right now, she's _drunk_.

"WHOA LOOK AT YOUR EYEBROWS." Jinora is shouting at Mako, completely ignoring his personal space in order to peer up at them. Her hands go up to his eyebrows and Agni, she's _stroking them with her index fingers._

Mako's not stopping her, because he knows that soon enough, the fascination will pass as soon as something else catches Jinora's attention.

"They're like baby caterpillar-moths." Jinora marvels and her eyes are huge as she switches from stroking them to poking at them. "YOU'RE FREE, LITTLE FRIENDS. QUICK, RUN OFF MAKO'S FACE AND BECAUSE THE BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY-WORMS YOU WERE MEANT TO BE."

If Jinora weren't drunk right now, Bolin would congratulate her on being the only person he knows other than Korra that is causing Mako to fight to keep a straight face.

A sudden movement catches Jinora's eye and she whirls around, glaring at Pabu. She points an accusing finger at the fire ferret, "YOU!"

Mako is looking at Bolin now, "Good job, bro."

"Shut up and fix my girlfriend!" Bolin hisses.

Meanwhile, Jinora is continuing her rivalry with his pet. Circling it slowly, she suddenly falls to her knees to make eye contact. "You think you can take Bobo's attention away from me, eh? WELL YOU THOUGHT WRONG, BOYFRIEND-STEALER."

"Agni." Bolin wants to bang his head against something.

Mako isn't helping; he's clutching at his stomach with laughter.

"I don't _care_ if you were here first; he loves me!" Jinora pauses, as if waiting for a response. There's none, of course, but she continues as if there were. "WHATEVER OKAY I GIVE HIM AFFECTION AND HUGS AND SOMETIMES I LET HIM BRAID MY HAIR. IS YOUR HAIR LONG ENOUGH TO BRAID BOYFRIEND-STEALER? I THINK **NOT**."

Mako's still not helping. "You braid her hair?"

Bolin wants to cry. "Ikki _makes_ me."

"Bobo!" Jinora suddenly wails, running over to him and hugging him tightly. She buries her face in his shirt, making pitiful noises. "Tell Pabu you love me more than you love him!"

Bolin smoothes her hair and when Jinora releases him, he walks over to his fire ferret. "Pabu," He says, smiling a little. "You're important to me, but this is Jinora and I love her very, very much."

"More than you, yeah!" Jinora calls from behind Mako, waving her glider around dangerously

"More than you." Bolin repeats dutifully. When he turns back to his brother and his girlfriend, he's surprised to see that Jinora has passed out into Mako's arms.

"She passed out right after she yelled." Mako explains, and Bolin wants to cry again because Jinora is going to have _such_ a headache when she wakes up.

Together, they tote her onto his bed to sleep off the Cactus Juice. It's only ten in the morning, so Jinora should be normal by the time she needs to get home. Mako and Bolin are about to go into the living room when Jinora's grip tightens on Bolin's sleeve and she murmurs, "Bolin…don't go."

Mako shrugs and the two of them sit down on the floor next to the bed. They dig out a deck of cards and Mako's dealing when Bolin hears Jinora speak so quietly it's almost inaudible.

"…Love you, Bolin."

* * *

**END**


End file.
